Free! Iwatobi Gangsta Club
by cutespider
Summary: Yet another parody. After being beaten up with pool noodles, will Rin reacquaint himself with the Iwatobi Gangstas? Oneshot.


_This was partly inspired by 50% OFF!'s portrayal of Nagisa. You should watch their parodies on YouTube if you haven't already_.

* * *

"Ay yo, Haru," Makoto yelled, sticking out his hand for the other boy. Haru emerged from the water and shook his afro dry.

"You's a real good swimmer, man."

Haru nodded his head in acknowledgement.

Nagisa ran up to them. "Ayyy! Who's dat shawty?" he asked, pointing at an unfamiliar swimmer.

"Yo!" Makoto said. The swimmer looked up and grinned, revealing golden grills on pointy teeth.

"Hey, man, what happened to yo teeth?" Nagisa exclaimed.

The swimmer shook his head in sad reminiscence. "The bloody dentist, mate. It ain't nice havin' your teeth sharpened with a bloody chainsaw. I only went in for a bloody check-up."

Nagisa did a double take. "Ay, you ain't from tha hood!" he accused.

"Australia, mate." He shrugged.

The other three boys exchanged glances. Nagisa grabbed a pool noodle. Makoto and Haru moved forwards.

"You better run, MATE," he threatened.

* * *

"Yo, Haru, is you home?" Haru heard from outside. "I is gonna break tha door down if you don't answer."

Haru submerged himself and his afro into the bath water again. His parents made a load of money from shady deals that they didn't like to discuss with him. They could afford a replacement.

He heard the door break off it's hinges. Makoto ran up the stairs.

"Ay!" he said, grabbing Haru's hand to perform their handshake. "You's in tha bath again."

Haru stood up to reveal his bling; several gold chains and swimshorts that had cost him at least $3,000 on a trip to L.A.

"You's rollin' in tha papers," Makoto stated admiringly, looking him up and down. "Yo, I heard we got a new kid startin' today."

"He from around here?" asked Haru, towelling his afro dry.

"I don't know, man," Makoto shrugged.

"Just lemme get my swag on and we'll go see."

* * *

Makoto and Haru were making their way to class when they were suddenly greeted by loud music.

"Woah," Makoto said, "there's a party?"

They turned the corner.

"AYYYYYYY!" came a voice, amplified by a microphone. "DJ Rei is in da HOOOUUUUSEEEEE!"

Haru found himself face to face with a DJing boy with an afro bigger than his own! Haru patted his afro self-consciously.

"Yeah! Dis next song is dedicated to myself!"

Students screamed and danced as the next song came on.

"Ay, ay, ay, I is yo lil butterfly!"

"Dis must be tha new kid," Makoto said. "My swag radar is off tha scale! Dis shawty got mad swag!"

"He ain't got no swag," Haru sneered. "Oi, DJ Rei, how about a dance off?"

"Ayyy," DJ Rei took of his headphones - custom made to fit around his afro - and swaggered towards Haru. "Yea, let's go!"

They both started breakdancing as students cheered them on. "Yea, go Haru!" Makoto yelled, fist pumping the air.

"Ay, what's all dis noise?" came a stern voice from their classroom.

"Damn, it's tha cops!" someone cried.

Everyone ran away. Everyone but Haru, Makoto and DJ Rei.

Standing there was their teacher. No-one knew her name, so they just referred to her as 'Da Stripper'.

"You ain't got no swag, homeboys," she scoffed. "Watch dis!"

She breakdanced violently. And then she started twerking.

"Dayyyyyuuuuuuuuuummmmm!" the three boys said in unison.

* * *

"Today was a good day."

"Yea," said DJ Rei. "Damn, I think Da Stripper smashed a few windows with dat fiiiiiine booty of hers."

"Ay, an' Rashaun better keep his damn mouth shut before I pop a cap in his ass," Makoto said.

Haru walked beside them in silence. He had been thinking back to when he, Makoto and Nagisa had been kids in their swim team.

"Hey, remember the swim club?"

"Yea. And dat Australian wannabe we beat up with pool noodles."

"Good times."

Then they saw someone with familiar red hair.

"Ay! It's him!"

They ran towards the redhead. Rei grabbed his arm. "Oi, are you tha wannabe Mako and Haru be talkin' 'bout?"

"Get off me, thug!" came a girl's voice. "I ain't no wannabe!"

"Wha?! The wannabe had a sex change?"

"Is dis wannabe you be talkin' bout by any chance ma brother?" she asked.

"Ay, yo. Maybe it is. Where he be?"

"Said he's comin' back from Australia tonight. Probably be at school tomorrow." she shrugged and got her arm out of DJ Rei's grasp. "See ya guys then."

* * *

And sure enough, the next day he arrived at school; limping into the classroom with bruises all over.

"What happened to you?" asked Haru.

The boy winced as he saw Haru and Makoto. "Still bloody hurts from when you beat me up with those bloody floaty things." he said, rubbing his arm.

"Cuz you ain't welcome around here," Makoto said.

Rin bit his lip, which immediately began bleeding profusely. "Well, mate, I was thinking about joinin' you. So we can all swim again."

"Nagisa ain't gonna like that," Makoto told him.

"Where is Nagisa anyway?" Haru asked.

"He murdered a lil girl for her penguin plushie. Doin' his time."

"Oh, I thought it was somethin' crazy like skippin' school or summin'." Haru said.

Rin frowned. "I guess I'll just have to get used to this."


End file.
